You might be taking this too seriously if ...

By NinjaX on September 12, 2007 3:16 PM

CareerNinja.com is intended to be a business resource for stable-minded individuals who make productive contributions to the workplace. Sometimes though, it can go too far and produce a real ninja. If any of the following traits apply to you, please consider seeking the help of a qualified mental health professional:

three weeks after your hire a no mask policy was added to the dress code
human resources refers to you as "The Enigma"
you use throwing stars as thumbtacks
the vending machine shakes and spits out a Snickers every time it sees you coming
you use smoke breaks for smoke bombs
you sign your name in origami characters
you've ever wondered who'd win in a fight - Jacky Chan or Henry Ford
your innate skills in stealth are compromising your attendance record
your manager is growing tired of reminding you that his name is "Bob, not 'Master'"
you quit your previous job because they wouldn't let you bring your swords to work
you spend more time pondering how you could disappear under your desk during an attack than actually working
you cut Bill from accounting's birthday cake with a katana
you won't bathe because someone could sneak up on you in the shower
you're the grandmaster of your own martial art
half your paycheck goes to replacing your shurikens
even your family doesn't know your real name
you bring home-brewed sake to the company BBQ
your coworkers get your attention by shouting Bonzai!
you get to your desk by fire escape
no one has ever seen you arrive, but you're never late
you're angry at Phillip for revealing "your secrets"
the firewall blocks askaninja just for you
you're considering transferring to a new employer who appreciates your "talents"
you ask for you paycheck in gold so they won't know where your lair is
when they inquire with your previous employer, your records are mysteriously missing
you can kick the copier back into line, literally
you surround your cubicle with webcams so you can see "them" coming
your favorite bluff is a three foot piece of steel
you slice TPS reports in half
you got your degree from the Shaolin Temple
you are the company shredder