Self Expression

Within the field of human activity, self expression is one of the highest virtues imaginable.  Our movie stars, writers, painters, comedians are all recognized for the distinct qualities they bring to their performance.  Jim Carrey broke it big by shattering the notion of what made physical comedy.  Robin Williams single handedly saved Aladdin from being an atrocious movie, and Van Gogh reshaped the art world by being, well, Van Gogh.

So why is it then that it seems that so many of our interactions are defined by a different set of standards, one that puts acceptability and adhering to a social norm above this right to expression?  Somewhere along the way, who knows when, it became important that we uphold a particular image.  Maintain an unchanging social profile.  Be yourself.  But that's an impossible dream, once that suffocates creativity and fails to acknowledge the dynamic and ever changing nature of human relationships and personalities.  Even the most outgoing and realized individual may face times where they feel sad, spend some time alone, or act a little goofy.

Self expression is about reaching deeper inside, underneath the layers of shoulds and social conditioning to a more raw, unconditioned place.  It's about having the courage to replace "This is who I need to be" and exclaim "This is who I want to be".  In that place lives a certain energy that gives vitality and creativity to whatever it touches.  Analyzing what you're about to say saps the creative process with second guessing, coloring it with an heartlessness that is obvious to anyone who observes it.  When you speak from the heart, there is a conviction that has the potential to reach another person and touch their universe in a way that could only be your own.

One of the ways I like to view life is as an interplay of ideas.  Someone says something to you, and then you decide how to respond.  They respond back and we start to evolve.  When you start to look at it that way, opportunities abound and your life becomes a bit like a Choose Your Own Adventure book.  It's not even important where you end up, you just get to check out all the different sights.

Consider the last time you shared a funny story or joke.  The moment you try and recite it, it becomes forced and you're stuck with the unenviable position of convincing everyone in the room that yes, you really did say something funny.  You might even have to explain the punchline.  Gah!!!  What a nightmare!  Yet it always (well not always, but often) seems that the funny moments are when someone is just sloppy enough to reveal an embarrassing detail about themselves or speak their mind and then step back and say Oh my god, did I just say that?!?

The highlight of my day yesterday was browsing the best of Craigslist section and enjoying the myriad posts that expressed all the different ways that we humans interact (and get ourselves into trouble).  One in particular stood out more than the others:
lvl 8 ogre mage seeks moon queen or druid
I opened it up and bust out laughing as I saw a picture of a dude in full roleplaying gear side by side with some sort of bizarre gaming figurine.  I could not help but appreciate someone who was unabashedly unafraid of showing a very personal side of himself and express his heart desires.  And with such a charming and funny post, I imagine he was quite successful at attracting the attention of numerous women.

When you start to appreciate the foibles and quirks of other people, something magical starts to happen.  Life ceases to be a struggle and instead becomes a wonderful play of human expression.  Each new person you meet is distinct and shows you a different side of the possibilities of life.  You welcome the unusual and with that people flower around you.  They feel comfortable being themselves and with that, you may even find that they stop exhibiting some of the personality traits that most people would consider annoying.  At the same time by doing so, you create a space in which you are welcome to express yourself.  By making them comfortable, they will want you to be comfortable.  That's a whole lot easier than trying to change people (unsuccessfully) to match your ideal.

The next time you're talking to someone and ask yourself if you should say something strange or unexpected, consider doing it.  So long as it's not nasty or critical, you may come across as more genuine and be the beginning of a deeper conversation.  Keep doing it, and who knows.  You might find the real you showing up.