September 2007 Archives
I don't like Manager Speak. The modern world is endlessly convoluted with this rapidly growing language comprised of ubiquitous terminology, vexing acronyms and nonsensical vagaries. (i.e. "Bob, can you explain your game plan for sales in Q3?" "Absolutely! We're going to capitalize all opportunities both known and unknown while keeping an eye on the bottom line and maximizing profitability through top-line focus and bottom-line awareness." "Great! ... Wait a minute...")
It's a dangerous thing because the more fluent you become in Manager Speak the more English becomes a second language, nearly crippling the communication process.
The reason that I'm bringing Manager Speak up is to illustrate the importance of perceptions. Take, for instance, the manager who communicates nearly exclusively through Manager Speak. If someone came readily to mind there is an extreme likelihood that this person is not respected as someone that has anything to say. The idea is to avoid being someone who will say anything when they don't have anything to say.
There are many variations on the popular quotation, "Perception is 90% of reality", all of which are probably very valid. There are competing arguments woven throughout various faiths, business models and media ranging from the idea that the entire world is simply the creation of the individual mind to "Nothingness Theories" that preach the concept of nothing actually existing on any level. Whatever belief it may be that you subscribe to, success in one's career hangs heavily upon the hinge of perception.
So, anecdotal rambling aside, what are some things that help cultivate a favorable perception in the eyes of those around us? The single greatest asset in this constant opportunity is the inner character. The concept of living your values and representing something definite is not only the most important idea one can focus on, it is the most difficult one to remain diligent in exercise. Keep this idea in mind, though: No matter who it is that you are, be that person constantly and those around you will quickly learn to respect your presence. If you are wavering and infrequently the same person, those above you and below you will never know where you stand and will therefore not consider you as powerful or respectable as they might have.
Perception is valuable in all aspects of the Career Ninja's practice. An employee that knows where you stand on things will simply not create problems for themselves or you. Your direct command, when knowing who you are, will be much more likely to turn to you in situations of trust and value your opinion much more so than that of the inconstant character.
Simply put, be who you are every single day and you will establish yourself in the eyes of everyone that matters, including (first and absolutely foremost) yourself.
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If you've read a few of these posts you know by now that I like to deal in specifics. Generalities are very safe (just ask political candidates) because you have the laws of averages on your side. The idea behind mixing words and speaking in generalities is to make as many people happy (or, in some cases, as few people angry) with you as humanly possible. Think of someone that you know who bets their happiness and success on what everyone around them thinks. Now let's rename this person "Pat." Is this person a strong individual that you look to for guidance or motivation? Probably not. They are probably so busy making sure that they are liked that they perform poorly in their professional and personal lives.
What does Pat's self of sense look like?
I phrased this title in the way that I did to capitalize on the importance we, as Americans, place on our employers' evaluations of us. While it is certainly important to maintain a positive position in the eyes of your employer and, often more importantly, your employees, we are basing an increasingly great amount of our self-worth on our worth to our employers. As discussed in the CareerNinja.com article "So Let's Say: You're Getting Fired" part 1, this can be extremely dangerous.
Remember this, Career Ninjitsu pupil: A business is a living, breathing organism.
The senior management of a company are, typically, its brain, which chooses how the organism will move and how (if) it will survive. If the organism decides to change its diet, it won't need the same set of teeth, the same digestive tract, the same tools. Depending upon your level in your company, you may very well be the brain deciding what the organism needs. The odds are, though, that you are an herbivore's flat tooth, or a hunter's rope, or an omnivore's third stomach. This means that, as the business climate changes, which it will, the organism may need to alter itself to adapt and survive. While you may be the best plant grinding tooth in recorded history, if the available botanical population in the area vanishes you will either be sharpened to a canine point or you will be shed in order to adapt more quickly to the change. The same is true of the vanishing of available huntable prey and of the need for a third stomach in drought.
Long story short, you are, to your business, expendable.
Cold? Yes. The concept, however, is a necessarily cold one., and I mention it to illustrate how bad life will get for Pat when the organism that he has happily and successfully contributed to adapts away from needing him and he finds himself discarded. Many of us have experienced this and it can be absolutely life-shattering for an individual who has not reviewed themselves.
What do I mean by "reviewing yourself"? I am talking about personal happiness. Does your job provide you with more than a paycheck? I'm not talking about compensation of any monetary or material type. If you were released of all debt and fiscal responsibility would you continue to do what you are currently doing? If your answer is a "No" or even an overly-hesitant "Yes" then something needs to change and soon.
That's it. Please read on for ideas on how to find what it is that you want to do with your life, but as for this article, please take the abrupt end as a very clear message: Get into something you actually like no matter what it takes. Don't make excuses about financial needs, family constraints, or anything else. You're not too old, you're not too sick, you're not too good at what you do to do something you actually want to do.
So start now and figure out what it is and do it.
WARNING: If you have ever conducted a number of interviews in a given day, or for a specific position over a number of days, you may not want to read this. The experiences described herein may evoke facial twitches, blinding migraines and instant balding due to flashback. You have been warned. Your hairline is in your own hands now.
Let's talk about big picture interview strategy. You've got your resume polished to a mirror shine, your suit looks like something from which Giorgio Armani might draw inspiration, and when you smile the daisies bloom. Great. Your visual and preemptive presentation are dialed in. Feel good; you deserve it.
So how about the interview? If you're as prepared as Johnny (or Janet) On-The-Spot here, the smart money says that you've also been practicing your interviewing skills. Here's where it gets important. These skills probably include responses to specific questions dealing with your position. If you're lucky (or a tricksy little Career Ninja!) you may even have come across a copy of the exact questions you will be asked. Excellent!!!
You have, however, never been in greater danger.
Why, you ask? Because the Ninja that spars with the same opponent each day will be dealt a sore blow the first time he is thrown a new blow. This is doubly true of your interview. I have seen this happen to a number of my clients, ranging from a entry-level college near-graduate to an interview for a Vice President position within one of the largest news networks in the U.S. You walk into the interview with A++ answers to the ten questions that you're sure they are going to answer, and you walk out with C- answers to the 8 questions they actually asked. Devastating.
The key is to practice concepts, not specifics, and to have five very specific examples ready, each of which could apply to a few different ideas. It's the difference between Erica (candidate A) and Angelina (candidate B)
Candidate A: Prepared for the interview question, "Please provide a specific example of a time in which you motivated a team to improve less-than-projected sales numbers while simultaneously focusing on morale." Erica has an extremely well thought-out description of the example situation and has rehearsed the answer to this specific question to near Miss America-level perfection.
Candidate B: Prepared for interview questions that involve specific concepts such as leadership, driving morale, motivating sales, and diversity. Angelina has sat down and laid out five clearly though-out examples of times in which she shone through each of these key managerial challenges.
If (when) the interview question changes, even only slightly and in the wording, there is a good chance that Erica will be the deer and the interviewer will be the semi, if even for only a moment of perceived panic. Angelina, however, having practiced in a medium of versatility, will have been anticipating only that she cannot anticipate the question, and will be much more relaxed and prepared in her answering of it.
Focus on preparing your responses around concepts, not specifics, and you will also be able to calmly and effectively answer question that are more peripheral. The candidate that prepares for questions involving leading teams will be able to seamlessly segue into an answer about how individual affect the team dynamic, and vice versa, by discussing many of the ideas covered by the initial preparation.
Because, after all, the successful Ninja knows that you cannot know where the blow will fall until it is thrown.
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It was a flawless day in the Garden of the Masters. The fragrant cherry blossoms wandered silently between the Sun's warming beams and the barely present breeze to the patient Earth while distant chimes rang, rounding out the final course in this feast for the senses.
Early noon found two quiet individuals slowly and purposefully advancing into a secluded grove. The first wore a quiet calm that spoke of a readiness and confidence that, over the years, had stunned many in presence and awed more in rumor. The second moved with the same grace as the breeze that gently nudged the blossoms from their home, insinuating rather than asserting and leaving the onlooker with a feeling of deep calm and respect.
Each was aware of the presence of the other for some time, for here were the avatars of the arts of Ninpo and Wu Shu, respectively. Each regarded the other as it became clear to both that they were mutually intending to enjoy the placid calm of the grove.
"Old friend, I find joy in your companionship on this flawless day." Wu Shu calmly and almost impartially spoke with a perfectly courteous hint of a smile and a bow that, if advanced, could easily have been the very beginning of a long, flowing motion from which no one could look.
Returning the courteous gesture with a genuine bow of the head and a placid, meditative expression, Ninpo replied, "Yes, for joy shared is joy twice doubled. Will you join me for tea on this truly idyllic day, friend?"
As effortless as their entrance, each produced a thin pillow and took a seat across from one another next to an ancient stone table adorned with the last scant millimeters of timeless symbols nearly lost in the current of countless years.
The Sun meandered across the azure expanse. Each blossom petal fell in perfect syncopation. The conversation between Wu Shu and Ninpo moved much like a ribbon released to a steady draft, each complimenting the others' contribution in turn.
As the shadows' daily march brought their reaches near to the opposing end of the courtyard, another natural process took hold. Just as the elements test one another in their constant posturing to maintain balance, Ninpo and Wu Shu very calmly began to discuss and compare their arts to one another
Ninpo, the consummate master of strategy and preparation, was the initiator of the contest, though unchangingly respectful line of conversation.
"Tell me, Wu Shu, which do you feel is the more valuable trait, calm or preparation?"
"In knowing one the true warrior will know both, Ninpo. Exclusivity breeds imbalance."
While thoughtfully acknowledging Wu Shu's comment, the subtle feline smile of a successfully sprung trap danced upon Ninpo's face.
"Balance is paramount in the practice of any bound for true success, yes, but where have you placed focus, dear friend? Without focus there can be no advancement, as the bird that chases two mice will catch none, and that selfsame bird in hand is worth two in the bush."
Wu Shu, having spent millenia becoming familiar with nothing and thusly being truly ready for all things, gazed placidly at this conversational snare while deftly disarming it. "Your very spirit speaks to the notion of readiness through preparation and forecast, Ninpo. Is it not true that disciples of your art are diligent students of each predictable variable, including even the movement of the moon and stars in order to accurately gauge even the depths of the sea through which they will move in their readiness?"
Ninpo smiled, for this fact spoke very truly of the extent to which the practitioners of Ninpo would go in order to properly assess a situation. Ninpo's students were widely feared by their opponents in battle and the gaming hall alike, leaving each with either an enemy's blood on blade or coins in purse. "This is true, Wu Shu, for without complete knowledge of one's environment how can one act with complete certainty that each action will embody the intention behind it?"
Wu Shu's reply, more even than the fluid grace of speech and gesture, embodied that which Wu Shu represented. "You speak of focus, my fellow avatar. However, who is it that can focus on each and every aspect of each thing? Without the complete knowledge of the path of each atom concerned, how can one possess an absolute certainty through which to act in complete disregard of doubt? It cannot be, for each variable consists of an infinite number of variables, the calculation of which would lead to an eternity spent attempting to realize the path of a single blossom' fall." As if to punctuate the comment and the end of the discussion, a single blossom came to rest in the very center of the table between them, symbolizing both the impossibility of certainty and the importance of awareness of all things.
Again in balance, each having presented through both action and speech the virtues of their arts, Ninpo and Wu Shu stood and, with the love and honor of the masters of any art, bowed and silently left the grove to the blossoms and the shadows.
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- Blame it on Brad, the lesser ninja over in human resources. You're far too sneaky to get found out
- Keeping shouting at security, "I no speak English, only Japanese"
- Use your skills in deception and disguise to impersonate a company manager and have the report dropped
- Entertain the police with your amazing powers of persuasion
- Sneak into the building in the middle of the night and makes all records of complaints "disappear"
- Cling to the ceiling so that no one can find you
- Start an office wide disturbance by setting off the smoke alarms with your smoke bombs so they have to deal with a bigger problem first
- Challenge your boss to a duel, double or nothing. If you win he forgives you, if you lose, you quit
- Quote the part of The Art of War that talks about how to cause trouble to practice your recovery skills
- Explain that you were testing the company security measures, which failed miserably
- Quickly transfer to another department because it was time for a promotion anyway
- Use those 2 weeks of vacation time you were saving up to attend a martial arts retreat
- Bring throwing star cookies for everyone in the office to build goodwill
- Load your cubicle with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle toys. Any would be harasser will be immediately absorbed in them and unable to say anything other than "I loved those things when I was a kid"
- Invite everyone over for sake and sushi
- Mix some sleeping powder in with your ninja crackers so that everyone becomes very very sleepy
- Juggle katanas as an amusing diversion
- Scuff it off and say "Jeez don't you know that ninjas always do that"
- Queue your theme music and then enter the arena *cough* I mean office, followed by an army of your minions *cough* coworkers
- Deliver an apology for your failure straight out of an 11th century ninja's mouth before requesting to cut off a finger as ritual punishment
- Send an email to CareerNinja asking for help
For a limited time only, we are offering free CareerNinja.com email addresses to anyone who wants one. That means that you can start your journey as a career ninja with your very own tagline. You could be surferninja@careerninja.com or perhaps ninjamom@careerninja.com Won't all your friends be envious? The possibilities are limited only by your imagination (and making sure that you take the good names before anyone else does). And your email is hosted on the Gmail platform created by the fine folks at Google, so you know it's good.
To request your personal email address, use our handy Contact Form and send us a message with your desired email address. Once your account has been created, we'll send a confirmation message to your old email address with instructions on how to access your account along with a randomly generated password that you can change once you login.
Please limit yourself to one email address per person. Also, please use career ninjitsu and act responsibly with your account, your behavior reflects on the CareerNinja community and setting a positive example helps ensure the site continues to grow and succeed.
Within the field of human activity, self expression is one of the highest virtues imaginable. Our movie stars, writers, painters, comedians are all recognized for the distinct qualities they bring to their performance. Jim Carrey broke it big by shattering the notion of what made physical comedy. Robin Williams single handedly saved Aladdin from being an atrocious movie, and Van Gogh reshaped the art world by being, well, Van Gogh.
So why is it then that it seems that so many of our interactions are defined by a different set of standards, one that puts acceptability and adhering to a social norm above this right to expression? Somewhere along the way, who knows when, it became important that we uphold a particular image. Maintain an unchanging social profile. Be yourself. But that's an impossible dream, once that suffocates creativity and fails to acknowledge the dynamic and ever changing nature of human relationships and personalities. Even the most outgoing and realized individual may face times where they feel sad, spend some time alone, or act a little goofy.
Self expression is about reaching deeper inside, underneath the layers of shoulds and social conditioning to a more raw, unconditioned place. It's about having the courage to replace "This is who I need to be" and exclaim "This is who I want to be". In that place lives a certain energy that gives vitality and creativity to whatever it touches. Analyzing what you're about to say saps the creative process with second guessing, coloring it with an heartlessness that is obvious to anyone who observes it. When you speak from the heart, there is a conviction that has the potential to reach another person and touch their universe in a way that could only be your own.
One of the ways I like to view life is as an interplay of ideas. Someone says something to you, and then you decide how to respond. They respond back and we start to evolve. When you start to look at it that way, opportunities abound and your life becomes a bit like a Choose Your Own Adventure book. It's not even important where you end up, you just get to check out all the different sights.
Consider the last time you shared a funny story or joke. The moment you try and recite it, it becomes forced and you're stuck with the unenviable position of convincing everyone in the room that yes, you really did say something funny. You might even have to explain the punchline. Gah!!! What a nightmare! Yet it always (well not always, but often) seems that the funny moments are when someone is just sloppy enough to reveal an embarrassing detail about themselves or speak their mind and then step back and say Oh my god, did I just say that?!?
The highlight of my day yesterday was browsing the best of Craigslist section and enjoying the myriad posts that expressed all the different ways that we humans interact (and get ourselves into trouble). One in particular stood out more than the others:
lvl 8 ogre mage seeks moon queen or druid
I opened it up and bust out laughing as I saw a picture of a dude in full roleplaying gear side by side with some sort of bizarre gaming figurine. I could not help but appreciate someone who was unabashedly unafraid of showing a very personal side of himself and express his heart desires. And with such a charming and funny post, I imagine he was quite successful at attracting the attention of numerous women.
When you start to appreciate the foibles and quirks of other people, something magical starts to happen. Life ceases to be a struggle and instead becomes a wonderful play of human expression. Each new person you meet is distinct and shows you a different side of the possibilities of life. You welcome the unusual and with that people flower around you. They feel comfortable being themselves and with that, you may even find that they stop exhibiting some of the personality traits that most people would consider annoying. At the same time by doing so, you create a space in which you are welcome to express yourself. By making them comfortable, they will want you to be comfortable. That's a whole lot easier than trying to change people (unsuccessfully) to match your ideal.
The next time you're talking to someone and ask yourself if you should say something strange or unexpected, consider doing it. So long as it's not nasty or critical, you may come across as more genuine and be the beginning of a deeper conversation. Keep doing it, and who knows. You might find the real you showing up.
What the heck is going on? Your life is spinning out of control, you have no idea where to turn and who can help you out. No matter what, there is a calm inner voice you can turn to for guidance. By creating an inner guide, you are providing yourself with a wonderful tool for accessing your own intuition and exploring your growth.
Your intuition is one of your strongest assets. You have a greater knowledge of your talents, strengths, weaknesses, needs, and desires than anyone else could ever have (psychic powered friends excluded). So it's important to use that knowledge to make yourself happier and successful. Unfortunately accessing your intuition can be tough. When your head is spinning amongst the toils of deadlines, relationships, and traffic jams, it can be tough to locate that little voice in the back of your head. By creating a visual representation of your intuition in the form of an inner guide that you can look at and talk to, you take things out of the realm of the mystical and into the world of the helpful.
Visualizing your inner guide:
Close your eyes for a moment and picture yourself in five years. This is the you that's overcome many of the difficulties you're facing and looks back on them with amusement. It's who you've always wanted to be, how you conceived yourself when you were at your best. So your guide is smiling, relaxed, and completely open to helping you with whatever you need. Dress your guide in the clothes that fit your image of your future self - perhaps a nice cotton shirt and some Birkenstocks or a suit and tie.
You may be tempted to visualize your favorite teacher or friend, but allow yourself to model the guide after your image. Your guide is the You that you'd like to become. The one that's learned the tough lessons and can help you avoid some unnecessary hard knocks. Best of all, your guide completely understands what you are going through. While even your best friend will be busy from time to time, you can consult your inner guide by ducking into a quiet corner, closing your eyes, and starting up a conversation.
Traits of the guide:
Each person's needs are different, but there are certain traits that nearly anyone will want to develop. Your guide is always willing to help, glad to share the lessons they've learned and assist in your growth. Your guide speaks with a calm conviction, providing simple, poignant answers that put your mind at ease and provide just the right focus. Your guide is compassionate, appreciating any difficulties or suffering you may be experiencing and appreciating the challenges common to all human beings. In addition, assign any attributes that you would like to - if you'd like to be in shape, visualize your guide with a healthy body.
Starting the conversation:
Find a quiet place where you can relax and remain undisturbed for some time. If you have a cell phone, turn it off so your attention is not anticipating an incoming call. Now close your eyes, visualize your guide, and say hi. When I do this, my guide responds by saying hi and radiating a feeling of unconditional love.
Asking a question:
Now that you've made the initial connection, it's time to begin working with your guide. Go ahead and ask a question and then see what your guide says. The answer may surprise you, they often come with a twist - after all the guide has five additional years of wisdom under their belt. For example I was recently in the hospital, so I spent some time working with my guide. Reflecting on all the drama I was seeing on TV and the personalities embroiled in conflict, I wondered how I should take it all in. My guide simply said, "Isn't this fun?" I had gotten so lost in my head that I was missing the crazy ways that life turns.
When you ask a question, there's no reason to be satisfied with the first answer you receive. Keep questioning and digging in until you're satisfied that you understand why the guide's logic.
Tuning the guide:
The guide performs another important role as well, that of helping you become the person you want to be. Your guide is a living example of what that looks like along with the knowledge of how to get there. To master a particular subject whether it's work or relationships, you should be able to know what to say or do in any situation without requiring thought. If your guide doesn't speak with the cool confidence of a ninja master, keep tuning until the answers are just right. You'll feel it once you have it dialed in.
In addition, sometimes your more negative personality traits will creep into your guide. When that happens, recreate your guide without them. The guide provides an important contrast between where you are now and where you're going, so he or she should be as close to your ideal as possible. If your guide provides a lot of egoistic answers (ones that focus too much on yourself), keep tuning. For example if your question is "Where should I work?" and the first answer you get is "the highest paying company in your field", you may find that requestioning comes up with something like "a company that rewards their employees for innovation". The latter tends to feel more right and is a sign that your guide is where you want it to be.
- three weeks after your hire a no mask policy was added to the dress code
- human resources refers to you as "The Enigma"
- you use throwing stars as thumbtacks
- the vending machine shakes and spits out a Snickers every time it sees you coming
- you use smoke breaks for smoke bombs
- you sign your name in origami characters
- you've ever wondered who'd win in a fight - Jacky Chan or Henry Ford
- your innate skills in stealth are compromising your attendance record
- your manager is growing tired of reminding you that his name is "Bob, not 'Master'"
- you quit your previous job because they wouldn't let you bring your swords to work
- you spend more time pondering how you could disappear under your desk during an attack than actually working
- you cut Bill from accounting's birthday cake with a katana
- you won't bathe because someone could sneak up on you in the shower
- you're the grandmaster of your own martial art
- half your paycheck goes to replacing your shurikens
- even your family doesn't know your real name
- you bring home-brewed sake to the company BBQ
- your coworkers get your attention by shouting Bonzai!
- you get to your desk by fire escape
- no one has ever seen you arrive, but you're never late
- you're angry at Phillip for revealing "your secrets"
- the firewall blocks askaninja just for you
- you're considering transferring to a new employer who appreciates your "talents"
- you ask for you paycheck in gold so they won't know where your lair is
- when they inquire with your previous employer, your records are mysteriously missing
- you can kick the copier back into line, literally
- you surround your cubicle with webcams so you can see "them" coming
- your favorite bluff is a three foot piece of steel
- you slice TPS reports in half
- you got your degree from the Shaolin Temple
- you are the company shredder
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